10 day bush bush

Merry Christmas to everyone!!! God is so good! I feel like I should apologize for my horrible job at keeping this blog up lol. I really did attempt to blog a few more times however the internet was consistently problematic so I ended up giving up for the time being. I thought I would tell one story that would hopefully fan your faith in our amazing Savior! He still heals today and He came to make payment for our sins and take away our disease! I know less then I have ever known in my life. I think in a way I came to figure God out a little better. I have done no such thing but I have received so much in my spirit. He is deeply mysterious and yet is near to each one of us. We will spend eternity discovering Him.

This little story I will take with me for the rest of my life and I hope to see many more like it in my lifetime. I am not sure words can adequately protray the power of the moment. The utter hopelessness of the ssituation turned in one moment to complete life. We were showing the Jesus movie for the last time on our 10 day bush bush outreach. We had already seen God do many things. Many salvations and many healing including a man who was nearly blind who received his sight and left laughing and pointing at the stars...lol...praise God. However this miracle was a baby with malaria. The baby could not have been more than two or three months and when we arrived at the house it felt hopeless and like death. The baby was feverishly hot and his eyes were rolling back in the back of his head. We were a team of five or six and one of the girls took the baby in her arms and we just began to ask Jesus for a miracle. The muslim village stood by watching these strange white people taking such concern with this child. Death is common here. We prayed. I'm priveleged to know and walk with people who have much more faith than me. I was allowing compassion to well up in my spirit and just trying to listen to the Holy Spirit. You feel so helpless when death is so close and there is literally nothing else you can do but call on a mighty God. The mother was crying softly. This was strange in and of itself. Mothers hhere often lose babies. The people are rather stone faced and unaffected in the face of tragedy that would devestate most of us for years. She cryed quietly as we prayed. My friend Heather was holding the baby in her arms and felt the child start to slip away and she commanded the baby to live and not die. We started to worship. We started to sing HOLY HOLY HOLY is the Lord God Almighty! Then in one moment the babys eyes returned to normal..they just popped open and the fever left. Everyone gave out a cry because we all saw it happen at once. My friend Brianna fell to her knees and started weeping. The baby was perfectly fine and we gave him back to his mother and he started to nurse immediately. We all started praising Jesus and thanking and singing. Beauty for ashes. Life instead of death. Just like that I watched the Holy Spirit enter our world and turn it all around. The baby was brought to church the next day with his father completely well. Thank you Jesus. Thank you Jesus. Thank you Jesus.

I have no idea how healing works. I do not have an answer or a ten step solution...all I know is that baby was about to die and Jesus came and healed him. Thank you Jesus! I was so honored to be a part and to see it with my own eyes. It was just so beautiful. God is so good.

Love you all and MERRY CHRISTMAS!! Come...let us adore HIM. He entered our mess to save us and He continues to enter and He continues to save! I love you Jesus. Let my life point to YOU for You are all that matters. Thank you for my beautiful friends and the people you have connected me to over my lifetime who have played a role in shaping me and pointing me to YOU. I am forever grateful. Bless them this Christmas season with faith hope and love. Faith in your goodness, hope that your goodness can and will enter their world in the way they need it most, and love to cover everything. Your love is the best thing I have ever experienced. Let us all experience Your love as we celebrate You this season!

Thoughts...

Hello :) I have no idea how long its been since I last wrote...I hope all continues to go well back in the States ;) I know God is doing more in me here than I ever could have imagined. I started this blog because the Lord gave me a prophetic word that while I was writing and journaling about my experiences over here He would be moving in people's hearts back home. I find myself feeling very inadequate for the task. Even at home I'm not much of a technology communicator and here I am far worse. Thank you for being patient with me.

As I move forward with the Lord it seems like He's making me new and resurrecting dreams that I never even dared to speak. It's like He read my spirit and decided to say no so many times so that He could answer my highest desires...desires that were so high and so abstract that I didn't even put them into words. This might sounds crazy...but I have never felt as at home in my life as I do in the bush bush of Africa. The gospel is received so readily and people believe so easily. Miracles are commonplace but so is suffering. The suffering people experience on a daily basis makes anything I have ever experienced as far as pain goes not even worth mentioning. But the interesting thing is that this is the perfect soil for the gospel. How did I never realize this before? I see it in the most simple way in my own life. Here is a perfect example: We don't have running water at the base for five days and so during this time we have to walk to the well (like most people in the world) and get water ourselves...then the water comes back on and I have never been more thankful for running water. I never even thought to thank God for running water before but all of a sudden my friends and I are singing Gods praises and enjoying a shower that by American standards is already poor. LOL! Its just the craziest thing. But I find myself changing. Rather than being grouchy when things don't go right you learn to expect nothing to go as planned, you are forced to let go of the illusion that we can control our lives and then when something goes right you praise God. Not because you are told to but just because it is the most natural thing in the world to do so. So it is with the poor who hear the gospel. Their lives have been so full of suffering that the gospel actually is good news...and like God promised He confirms the gospel with miraculous signs and wonders. Not complicated. Just like He said He would. I also have become acutely aware of how difficult it is for a wealthy person to enter the kingdom. I never once in my life read that scripture and thought I was that wealthy person but coming here it is altogether perfectly clear that I am that wealthy person Jesus is talking about. It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle then for me to enter the kingdom of God. But thank you Lord that you didn't stop there but you said that nothing was impossible with you!!! And by Your grace I am entering, slowly but surely. I have been able to see God heal two people of deafness through me since I have been here. I have felt the power of the Holy Spirit come on me like I have never experienced in my life. Not for me but for those I was ministering to. A speaker said, "the Holy Spirit is in you for you but He is on you for others." Well I have felt His power on me and I am now wrecked for anything else. I have learned to love and I have had to repent over and over for my unbelief. It feels like in bringing me here God has changed me altogether. I never expected it to go this deep and to be this well and to have this much and the promise of so so so much more. Yet it does not come without a cost. There has been a high cost and there will continue to be a high cost. It feels like coming home to have the good news include suffering for Christ as well. I have spent much of my life avoiding suffering or being protected from it but I was created not only to be resurrected with Christ but also to suffer for Him. And with this suffering comes tremendous joy. So strange and so beautiful. I love Jesus. I love being carefree in His care.

I'm sorry today I'm not really writing about specific events. Its just that what God is doing inside of me is changing everything. Everything. I can honestly from my heart express my gratitude for the grace of God on the last few years of my life. Today Rolland said, "it is impossible for God to give you anything that is not altogether in your best interest". This includes suffering. This includes my broken heart. It seems so small now looking back but at the time I was so broken and the healing process was excruciatingly long but I am now thankful for every moment. I am thankful for God saying no. I am thankful He loved me that much. Heidi also said to never leave a place in defeat. I often wondered why the Lord was so insistent on me staying in Vacaville. It was so painful. But God was doing a tremendous work in me and He was going to give me complete victory in my soul. He is soooooooo good. I love the Fathers House with all of my heart and I believe so much in the leadership there and if I had left in my pain it is possible I could have fostered bitterness or unforgiveness because of the pain of my broken heart. God was so good to keep me there. To obey God is the best possible option no matter how much it hurts.

Although there are great victories here there are also great losses. Heidi says we live in a constant state of joy and tragedy. It sounds so much like what Jesus said we would experience. Mmmmmmm. Well I'm rushing to share and my friends are waiting. We are taking Tiebo to get a new shirt and new pants. He had a great attitude when we were leaving for the city and even though we said he couldn't come he was smiling and sweet (he has a tendency to be a fighter...quite literally) so now he is being rewarded for his faith and patience ;) dad you would be proud of how I handle the village kids here. I imitate you a lot with the way you handle James and Dylon :) Make no mistake...these kids are not angels...haha...but they are pre-saints. They just need to know Jesus made a way for them to be adopted into the best family ever!!!!

The Iris kids are completely different than the village kids! They are secure and it is an amazing testament to the spirit of adoption that reigns on this base!
Please pray for me that I will love every soul the way they need to be loved. It takes a great deal of wisdom to love people in the right way here. Unsanctified mercy or love does far more harm than good. Thank you for your prayers. I covet every one. Seriously. I love you all so much!!!! I will try to write again soon...

Outreach

Hello. Another great couple of weeks. You know it is great if I do not post for a while :) I'm just in heaven here. Really. Every day is my favorite day so far. Sometimes I just look around and think, am I really here??? Is this really happening??? It's like a dream. But most moments I'm just living in the moment and enjoying all of it. I would say it took me about three weeks to get accustomed to the culture here. Both the Mozambican culture and the church culture. I am fully adjusted and I cannot even bear to think about going home right now. Well I have two more months so I won't get started on that :) So I have SOOOOOOOOOOOOO much to tell you guys but I have only a few more minutes on the computer. I'm out with friends and one of the Iris kids has waited for two weeks for me to take him out and today is the day. He is being treated like a king today. I love this kid. Anyways...I HAVE to tell you guys about outreach......get ready get ready get ready ;)!!!! So on outreach we go share the gospel with villages. To date the best experience of my life. No questions. Hands down. Incredible. It started out pretty normal. We left on time (which is a rarity ;)) we drove the three hours packed together in a flatbed. (By the way...nothing is difficult for me here. We have not had running water in four days and its not even a problem. I just go down to the well and get water like the Mozambicans in the morning and carry it back on my head. Lol. Hopefully by the end I will be able to balance it...but that might be pushing it) Okay back to the story. We got there and set up our tents. Try to imagine fifty to a hundred kids following us once we got into the village. Try to imagine them smiling and waving and simply mezmorized by our white skin. Then our Mozambican brothers/pastors set up the sound and screen for the Jesus movie. I got in a little trouble for this later but I went with them. I was the only Guinya (whitie) and when they turned on the music we started dancing and dancing. Probably for forty minutes. Just me and like fifty to a hundred beautiful children. Okay okay I have to speed up and get to the good part. The first night was fairly uneventful. The entire next day I played with the kids. Oh how I wish I knew Maqua!!!!! Our brothers were amazing though. My PE background came into play and I would tell them the game and then like five of them would explain it and have the kids in perfect lines to play these games. It was so fun. The poverty was intense though. We were in a relatively wealthy village also. We sat the kids in groups of ten and fed them for lunch. Its hard to feel anything but helpless when you watch them come up one by one and you know you are doing very little to me the actual needs. The need is so great. The witch doctors here are very active. There is a lot of oppression and sickness. So that night we showed the Jesus movie again and I was back at the camp helping with the water and the food. One of the Mozambican boys on the outreach team who had spent the day with me and the kids (patista) asked if he could pray for me. I just stayed on my knees and he prayed in Portugese and Maqua. I have never in my life felt the presence of God like that moment. All of a sudden it just started to hit me. Everything. The poverty, the need, the oppression and the fact that if Jesus is not known, if Jesus is not exalted and if the Holy Spirit does not move then we have only really made ourselves feel better by coming. We have given a meal and possibly hope but it was just too much. I started to just weep under the power of the Holy Spirit and just yield myself to Him and say He could have anything He wanted. He could take anything away from me. He could have all my dreams He could have all my ideas about His will for my life. He could have every promise, every desire, every single thing if He could just posses me and use me as He needed in that moment. I was overwhelmed at His heart for the poor and the desire for the gospel to be preached in power to the power. The gospel is good news to the poor. It is not always good news to the wealthy. But it is tremendously good news to the poor. So there I was on the ground for about thirty to forty minutes I don't know. Patista was still praying for me in Portugese and Maqua and I was just crying out laying everything I've ever loved or wanted down. Then all of a sudden the Holy Spirit was like go the meeting. I did not want to go because I really don't like to draw attention to myself so I didn't want to go but then the presence started to leave so I repented and jumped up and started running to the meeting. (Remember I have never felt Him like this before---and you guys know I've had my share of experiences with God) So I'm like running and my body is shaking and it was like this holy moment where I was just trying to not get in the way of what God was trying to do. So the movie was over and the pastor was preaching in Portuges and it was also being translated in Maqua. I just went in the middle and knelt down. Haha. I just kept my eyes on Jesus and I kept surrendering and yeilding to Him and I knew whatever He was wanting to do He was going to have His way. So they gave the altar call. Remember I cannot understand a word of what they are saying so all of a sudden everyone is rushing down and I'm completely surrounded and we are starting to pray for the sick. A few people got healed of like knee pain but then this lady came up to me who was deaf in one ear. I did not understand her so I brought over an interpreter and he told me. Her daughter was with her. I asked God to open her ear and just like that. I snapped and she heard. Seriously. I didn't do anything special. I just was yeilded to God and I asked and then He did it. HE did it!!!! Her eyes brightened and she smiled and said something which of course I did not understand so I called the translator back over and asked what happened and she told Him she could hear everything not 100% in that ear. This is the first time I had seen anything like this so I dragged her over to another pastor and asked him to get the story and there it was. She had lost her hearing in her right ear and her daughter was there to confirm it and now she was able to hear :) The funny thing was that the Mosambican pastors were rather nonchalant about it. Oh yeah. God opened her ears. He does that all the time. Praise God. Moving on to the next one....lol....

I have so much more to tell but my time is up at the internet cafe. Zidane has been patient and now it is time for him to be a prince ;) Love you all...

Please excuse the bad spelling and bad english...I'm writing in a hurry and I'm not exactly sure if I'm learning Portugese or unlearning English here...haha.

Week 2

Another eventful week. Life here is extremely full. In the best sense of the word. I thought I might write a little about what the days are like. I am also thinking I ought to write a few times a week because I might keep a better record of what is happening in both daily life and in my spirit. I can hardly remember everything I mean to write about. Last week was so eventful and so meaningful. We are becoming a community. Every day you find another treasure. There are just so many amazing people here. My first week I was a bit overwhelmed at the sheer volume of new information to process. 250 people in the school to meet from all over the world and innumerable children who live here…all who speak two different languages. I was very motivated to learn portugese but I have slowed down a bit. The village kids know Maqua. Its their heart language. This week I went into the village for the first time. The contrast between what I spoke about last blog and the village is phenominal. So much poverty. So so much poverty. So much need. The conditions boggle my mind. I should have been prepared but I don’t think you can be prepared. At least I wasn’t. Yesterday we went with a group of people to roof a house. I got to play with the kids. It’s amazing to me how the language barrier is almost nonexistent when communicating to children. (Well that is if you are not afraid of looking extremely foolish and being gaucked and laughed at by the adults) There is nothing I would need to say that cannot be explained with hand motions and quite a bit of enthusiasm. Well that’s not entirely true but God gave me one little boy who knew both Maqua and Portugese. The village kids do not even speak Portugese until they are about 10. Saide found me and with my little bit of Portugese and hand motions I would explain a game to him and he would translate. Saide is the most beautiful boy with light brown eyes (very rare around here). He’s about 10 I think and has a very sweet spirit and is spunky and competitive as well. The child is winning my heart. We started off with duck duck goose and graduated to more exciting games. I have yet to bring my camera. I just have not been able to bring it to take pictures. It feels disrespectful at this time. As if the reason I would take them would be to convey the intensity of the poverty.Its also very easy to start a riot around here with the kids and since I cannot communicate yet I do not want to have anyone get hurt. Going into the village was very eye opening and it became very easy to see why people around here spend so much time on their face before God. The need is just too much. Speaker after speaker tells us the secret to what is going on here…its just waiting on and yielding to the Holy Spirit. No really. That’s it. We worship for hours here. Hours. Heidi and Rolland say nothing new only they live out what we all believe. We wait for the Holy Spirit. Heidi says “Go low and slow”. We wait on God. We worship Him. We listen and we obey. The need is tremendous but the fruit is speaking for itself. Yet no matter how much God does…we still need Him more. The need is just too much. If I leave here with anything I am hoping to walk away with an impartation of complete dependence on the Holy Spirit. In the last few months I have had a couple of request just burning inside of me and the first one is just Him. More of the Holy Spirit. Jesus said it would be better for him to leave the earth than to stay because if He left then He would send the Holy Spirit. And yet the funny thing is is that even though I came here desiring Him…when I got here I was offended by Him. He does strange things sometimes. He touches people in ways that I have never experienced and He makes people look extremely foolish. Its true. I don’t understand it. I don’t know how to explain it. He just does. Extreme joy and extreme peace and I wasn’t quite ready for the extent of it. Jesus offended people. Especially religious people. Why does it surprise me that the Holy Spirit would be any different? Well I had to face this this week. The process wasn’t easy but the breakthrough was worth it. I think God is a genius to get 250 of us all from different backgrounds to Africa and then completely offend half of us. Lol. So funny if you think about it. If we were in the states we could just leave the meeting but here there is no where to go. So we are forced to learn to understand one another. Rather than camping out on opposite sides talking about how weird or how wrong the “other” Christians are…we are living with them…we signed up for it and ultimately we all know God drew us here and well our ticket to go home is not for another two or three months so we learn to dwell together with understanding. I was pretty surprised at my reaction to be honest. Once again I thought I was ready for this. And once again I was wrong. I found myself fighting a battle in my mind and it was one of two extremes. Either judgment or jealousy. Both equally in error. The judgement was more along the lines of…someone should be controlling this…this is crazy. And the jealousy was questioning my own relationship with God because I don't experience anything like what I'm seeing…I don’t experience Him like that at all. Well anyways this went on for a bit and I found the answer. The answer was not to talk with someone else who felt the same way as me. NO that would have been too easy. I went straight for the crazy people. Call me crazy but the fruit of this ministry speaks for itself and I didn’t come here to stay safe and comfortable. I came to be changed and I came to receive what they have here. If blind eyes opening and deaf ears hearing and dead people rising is not your thing than you know feel free to stay right where you are…but I want to see the Bible come to life in the US as it is here. So after about two days of battleing confusion in my mind I went to the craziest woman I could find and I asked her to pray for me. I wasn’t looking for anything expect to be free of confusion. It was so great. I didn’t flip or flop or laugh hysterically. I only felt peace and I felt released to be who I was. Pure and simple. Then it was amazing. The woman who was with me got up and gave a word of release and freedom for everyone and all the others who were battleing the same battle I was getting free and tears started streaming down my face. When I feel God’s presence I cry. It’s what I do. I’m not sure if I’ll ever do anything else but that’s okay with me. All I want is Him. So then the most amazing peace came upon all of us. It was so powerful and it was as if God was uniting all the denominations. No once screamed or laughed or fell to the ground. We just rested in the presence of the Holy Spirit. It was so sweet. There are no words to describe it. It was as if the Holy Spirit was slowing down for those of us who were just weirded out and bring us into unity as a school. Later on in the day four of us ended up talking for a couple hours and it was just so cool. Two of us don’t particularly react when we feel Gods presence and the other two definitely do. Haha. It was so good to talk and share and hear each others stories and perspectives without passing judgement and for me to see the “weirdos” are quite normal in real life. They have stories and they don’t necessary like what they do…well they do…but it is humiliating. Someone told me that when the Holy Spirit comes He humbles all of us. We are humbled if we shake because well it is quite humiliating to flop around on the floor and we are humbled if we don’t feel a thing. Those who are left standing can be tempted to believe the lie that God doesn’t speak to them or they are not as spiritual. Not true. The important thing is not what happens but where our focus is. Does it promote love? Does allowing the Holy Spirit to do what He wants promote love? Does controlling Him or putting a cap on what He is allowed to do promote love? Does giving Him a place where He has complete freedom promote love? Does communicating with those who believe or experience differently than us promote love? Does the body of Christ coming together in unity promote love? It is not love if those who do something special when God touches them judge those who don’t and it is not love if those who do not feel anything judge those who do. Love one another. That is the command Jesus gave us. And especially love the community of believers. Jesus said it. “They will know you are Christains by the way you love one another”. Sometimes love just looks like communication and understanding. This was an unexpected breakthrough for me. And like normal, I did not even realize I needed it. But I’m so thankful. So if I could say what it feels like God did this week is that He united us. No matter where we came from and no matter what our former experiences we are all here because we want to learn to love and we realize that there is more to learn. Heidi has been saying this phrase many times since we got here. She says, “love the One who is the One and then love the one in front of you”. Love God first and love Him most and love whoever is in front of you. Could it really be that simple? And could it be that the reason I have not experienced so much fruit of the Spirit in my life is that I have not REALLY been doing that. Hmmm…but I’m learning. I’m learning to go lower still and as slow as He wants. And I am learning how to love. God teach us to love You and love each other. Teach us to abide in you and to never quench You Holy Spirit. You have a great plan and we just want to learn to give You Your rightful place while we have the chance on the earth to voluntarily exalt You. You will be exalted. Be exalted in our hearts now. Be exalted in our lives. Be exalted in the way that we love you and in the way that we love each other. Show us what love looks like. And offend us if you must if only we can have You.

Hola! de Mosambique!!!

Hola! I am here safe and sound and loving EVERY moment. It kind of feels like I'm living in a dream and so far I have had little to no time to process so please forgive me if this first blog is not life shattering ;)lol. I know my life is being shattered right now...but I'm not even sure how to communicate clearly what it is like here.

Hmmmm....what is it like to be on a compound with 300 other people from all over the world who share the same heart's cry for more of God. I'll let you try to imagine. Crazy is probably an understatement. To be honest sometimes I feel extremely mellow in this place if that tells you anything. I am a small fish in a big pond. In some ways. In others I feel like this is the most natural place on earth for me to be.

I am already in love with the Mozambiquean people. The way they worship and cry out to God is unreal. Church on Sunday was three hours translated into three different languages. Tears streamed down my face as I opened my eyes during worship and saw little kids genuinely basking in the presence of God. I have never seen anything like it. Eyes closed, hands raised, some kneeling, some lying face down. Not because they were told to. Just because they love Him. It is powerful. When the men sing I feel like I'm in the closest thing to heaven on earth that there is. The worship goes on for hours and the dancing!!! The dancing is sooooo fun!!! I know one thing for sure. I am coming back freed up in the dancing arena! We dance all the time. All the time. There is so much joy here. So much joy. The sound system is awful, the floor concrete and the walls open but the Spirit of God is here and love is the reigning order. Really. I'm not exaggerating. I wish everyone could come.

I'm trying to process, trying to put my thought in a way that can communicate clearly but I'm not sure I know how. Words that come to mind are, SIMPLICITY, OVERWHELMED and MORE.

SIMPLICITY: because everything is so simple here. Simply the gospel. Simply Jesus died to save sinners. Simple belief. Simply dependent on the Holy Spirit. Simply worship. Simply laying down our lives. Simply obeying. Simply loving Him and letting Him do the work.

OVERWHELMED: because I've never seen or experienced anything like this. Love in action so purely. Motives so pure. So much of the Holy Spirit I can hardly stand it. So much joy and peace. So much kindness. So much faith. So much faith. Rubbing elbows with men who have raised the dead and not a shred of pride. So strange that the miracles are not the main thing. Love is. Miracles are commonplace. I was talking with an eighteen year old young man the first day. I was asking him questions about how he met Jesus, why he is at iris ect. He had been a Muslim before He met Jesus. He tells me as if it is the most natural thing in the world that God heals the blind and the deaf and broken bones. He is not extremely excited. It's just how it is. He laughs at me when I tell Him I have never seen anything like this and that some people in my country do not even believe in God. He just said: you just have to believe. It is normal here. That overwhelms me (and excites me). Also learning two languages is overwhelming but its getting easier. I'm determined to learn both as much as I can. Its so fun. At meal times I hardly ever finsh all my food because I'm in a conversation (can you call it that lol) with a mosambiquan boy or pastor and we are using our limited language skills and laughing our heads off at and with each other. Ah, the living arrangements are basic, they are nice actually. The vegetation is beautiful and there are bamboo fences everywhere. Very exotic and so beautiful. (I'll take pictures in a month or so and post them--I've committed to not taking pictures until I really know the people) The plumbing situation is tenative but it doesn't bother me...it's fine. The living quarters are tight but completely doable. I think the only thing that might actually be difficult for me here is not having alone time to pray and read my Bible. But I found a friend and we go in the morning to the beach and sit in seperate places and have alone time (which always ends in a conversation with a village boy and me learning more portugese and maqua--looking completely ridiculous and not minding it a bit).

I thought of the word MORE because so far this week has been far more than I expected. I really can't put it into words. This morning I watched the Iris children coming down the hill from their rooms led by their Mosambiquan papas. They were in their lines and they were all singing (at the top of their lungs) and smiling and once again I was just stunned at the beauty in front of me. 160 of them marching along and singing about the love of God. These are kids who had nothing...literally nothing... and now they have been adopted into the family of God. Now they have more than many American children. They have love, joy, peace, purpose and a family. Look at how the Lord is so good!!!

Heidi and Roland time has been invaluable. They teach our classes in the morning (that is if we can ever stop worshiping) I am truly humbled to be sitting under their teaching and their leadership. Heidi's stories are so funny and so amazing. I can't go into it all right now because my time at the internet cafe is running out but I am just so honored that they have invited us to be a part of all this. Google her name and buy her books if you want to know some of the stories. I will write more later. It looks as though I'm going to be able to easily write once a week...so until next time...press into Jesus. Know Him and tell the Holy Spirit He is welcome to do whatever He wants in you. There is no fruit apart from Him. None. In the end what we did in faith is all that really matters. Love you all!

And we're off!!!....

Well here we are...today is the day. Going to Mozambique :) Seeking first the Kingdom. I wanted to make sure to say hello to everyone and also give you a heads up on a couple things...

Thank you so much to everyone who has been a part of this journey! I love you all so much and I'm so excited to be walking forward with my King and with the support of my friends and family...

So the purpose of this blog is pretty simple. I've been invited on a journey and I wanted to invite you to come along also. If you want. :) Thats pretty much it.

It's a simple quest...more of Jesus. More of the King and His Kingdom. Jesus said He came to preach good news to the poor, to heal the broken hearted and to release the captives. He also said that if we believed in Him and love Him we would do what He had been doing. I am learning to long for Him, learning to seek Him and learning to stay connected to Him. I'm learning to believe Him and learning to love those that He loves.

I do not know what stories await me. But I am becoming more and more confident of the story Writer. I do hope that in some way either big or small the stories God gives me will make you want Him more and drive you into His love. May we all find ourselves seeking His kingdom first and laying down our own agendas for His.

If anyone is curious about where I am going (Iris ministries in Pemba Mozambique) there is a great documentary on Netflix called "Mama Heidi". Its only about 50 minutes long and it shows where I am going and kind of gives you an idea of what I might be doing. I highly recommend it. It will definetly stir your faith and make you want to know Jesus more and love people!

Well thats all for now! I'm exhausted and need to get some shut eye... Love you all!

The kingdom

Kingdom obsession. I am becoming wrecked. Jesus said abide in me. He is the vine. There is no life apart from him. What if I lived like that. I feel like I am entering into a whole other realm. I have sold most of my things and given up my job but it does not even feel like a sacrifice. I am beginning to really get the parable of the priceless pearl. The kingdom is so much more than we could ever dream and worth every sacrifice along the way. Those of us who are wealthy find it much harder to enter the kingdom. So much stuff and so many distractions along the way. We are rich in the world yet ever so poor in the kingdom. Barely survuving off of crumbs when we were meant to feast. Consoling ourselves and justifying our experiences yet remaining kingdom paupers. I feel like my experience with the kingdom is getting nearer. There are moments where I enter and receive all that is needed and faith joy and peace unspeakable flood my entire being. A part of me knows I am meant to live...to abide here yet my mind is still being renewed and I seem to drift in and out of this promise...this kingdom coming...this heaven on earth. Never before have I been so acutely aware of jesus call to pray that His will would be done on earth as it is in heaven. In heaven there is continual praise and no question of His goodness. He is goodness itself. Love itself. There is no lack. There is no want. There is only perfect peace and joy. I find that now that God has stripped me of everything I am able to long for the one thing that truly matters. The King and His Kingdom. There are a few prayers I have prayed that have driven my life...they have driven every decision to consciously bend my will when He has asked things of me I did not want to give. They are the prayers He holds in His heart and answers above any other cry in my fits of rage or saddness, loss or willfulness. It is the simple prayer of a fifteen year old girl captured by the love of Her King and drawn into the mystery of the call to follow. It is the prayer that no matter what happens that He would never let me get away with less than everything for Him. In those sweet moments of childlike surrender and complete rapture in His presence I signed my life away to follow Him and bring Him glory. He has been faithful to this one prayer. When I have wandered, when I have questioned, when I have served and when I have walked bold facely away He has never let me go. He has broken me, He has bent my will, He has humbled me, He has consumed me and when I thought I was ready He has called me even deeper into surrender and faith and I can see it is all worth it for just a place just a seat in His kingdom. There are glimpses lately through the fog of religion and wealth I am seeing a promise become clearer and clearer. The closer I get and the more I let go the more simple and obvious it becomes. It is all about Him and He is so good. He is so good. The most beautiful gift on earth holds no comparison to the King and His Kingdom. Will we lay down our lives for Him. Will we joyfully surrender to Him our status, our wealth, our accomplishments, or relationships, our things and will we join with Paul in saying I count it ALL a loss compared to the supassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord for whose sake I have lost all things...i consider them rubbish that I may gain Christ and be found in Him... such freedom and cannot be described and no words can substitute for the joy of walking in this Way. How I have longed for this and I see I am onlu just beginning...